Top 10 Christian Extra-Biblical Traditions

TOP TEN CHRISTIAN EXTRA-BIBLICAL TRADITIONS

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10. One third of all the angels joined Lucifer in the rebellion against God — The Bible says only that the dragon cast a third of all the stars to the earth. Equating stars with angels is a purely human interpretation made to defend the scriptures after we found out stars are really distant suns.

9. Sola Fide (Salvation by faith alone) — This goes expressly against James chapter two, which states that faith cannot save if it is alone, as well as Matthew chapter twenty-five where Jesus makes doing good works such as giving alms a criteria for salvation.

8. Pre-tribulation rapture — In Matthew chapter twenty-four Jesus says his angels will gather the elect “after the tribulation of those days”. In order to maintain the pre-trib tradition, the additional tradition of dispensationalism, dating back to 1830, redefines the elect to mean only a certain group of people who were “left behind” and converted during the tribulation.

7. The Deuterocanonicals are apocrypha — To evade the doctrine of free will and purgatory, the Protestant tradition embraces the Old Testament canon which was defined by Jews at the Council of Jamnia in 90 CE, which itself was embraced in reaction to the early Christians use of the Greek translation developed at Alexandria.

6. The Sinner’s Prayer — Nowhere does the Bible give the formula to”accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior” that Protestants say is the most important act a person can do in this life.  In fact, Jesus specifically rejects those followers who merely say, “Lord, Lord” and refuse to do what his Father commands them to do.

5. The wine in the bible was really grape juice — Before the era of modern refrigeration and preservative chemicals, grape juice automatically turned into wine.  This comes from the same teetotaler Puritan traditions that gave us the wonderful idea of Prohibition, making the Roaring Twenties a decade of speakeasies and Mob rum-running.

4. Sola Scriptura – Bible alone — Not only is this doctrine not in the Bible, it contradicts a command that is present, 2 Thessalonians 2:15, where Paul says to “hold fast” to the traditions received from the Apostles which were given in both written and oral form.   To wiggle out of this one, Christians tell me that really isn’t a command from Paul, which of course leads to the necessity of listing which parts of his epistles to follow and which to ignore, meaning the introduction of yet another human tradition.

3. The New Testament canon — The table of contents of the New Testament  is not part of the inspired text. It is purely tradition.

2. Sunday worship — The Sabbath is Saturday (Friday at sundown to Saturday at sundown), and God even commands us to remember that fact and keep that period of time holy.

And the number one Extra-biblical Christian Tradition:

1. Trinity — Nowhere does the Bible teach the doctrine that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are three Persons yet one Divinity.   Indeed, it says that the God of Israel is one, and even Jesus admits the Father knows stuff that he does not.

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Chapter 22

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Years after Prince Melchizedek first visited the crossroads town of Harran, Old Man Terah, father of Abram, can still sometimes be seen moving around inside his idol shop near the town’s central market square. His well-to-do son has done much to keep his father’s body and soul together, but Terah is very feeble now, and he works in his shop only very slowly. One night as he is working late he is startled by a sudden sharp pain in his head, stands up, and drops his chisel. He collapses to the floor of his shop with a fatal stroke, but this is witnessed by no one. Only in the morning is his body discovered.

Sheep and cattle roam the grasslands a number of leagues away from Harran. Abram is walking in the field with his flocks when a messenger runs up to him and speaks. Abram looks alarmed and turns to follow the messenger back to the place where Abram has set up his tent.

A few days later Terah’s body is lowered into a tomb in Harran as many others look on. Stones are moved into place over Terah’s body. Abram says to the people gathered there, “My father is dead. Nothing remains now to tie me to Harran. I will now take my wife, my son Isaac, all the lifestock we have raised, and also as many of you who agree to remain under my employ. Spread the word to those of our people who are not here. We will leave this place forever. As much as I loved my father this town is sick with false gods.”

Isaac, a mere slip of a lad, asks, “Where will we go, father?”

“We will journey by the road southwest, to the land of Canaan. I have come to believe the true God wills that we should dwell there. When it was revealed to me I could not obey this divine will before because my father could not travel very far, and he could not survive without me. But now he is gone.”

Then Abram takes his extraordinarily beautiful wife Sarai, his son Isaac, all the livestock they have raised, and all the people from Harran who agree to remain under Abram’s leadership, and they travel southwest to the land of Canaan, which lies beyond the winding river that begins on the snows of Mount Hermon and ends in the Salt Sea.

A number of days after Abram and his people have left, Prince Melchizedek reaches the town of Harran with his two servants. They see Terah’s idol shop is empty. Melchizedek inquires of the townspeople about Terah and Abram. Soon they too are on the road south and west, following Abram and his herds. It is not difficult to find him, because his business has a wide geographical footprint, made even wider by the drought.

At Sechem, Melchizedek and his yeng approach Abram at the center of his flock. When Abram sees them he approaches, bows reverently, and says, “You see? I obeyed the call of God after all!”

The Prince says, “I am Melchizedek. I was sent by the one you seek with your innermost heart, none other than the Most High God. And yet I swear to you Abram that God also needs you. And God has said, ‘I will give the land of Canaan to the descendants of Abram to be their inheritance forever.'”

Then Abram is suddenly moved by a religious impulse all his own. He claps his hands once and turns to his servants, saying, “Bring to me the best animals in my flock.” Then Abram, aided by other servants, constructs an altar of stones. His servants kill the animals and lay them on Abram’s altar.

Abram intones, “In the name of Chokhmah, the most high God of heaven and Earth.” Then he sets fire to the animals and makes a burnt offering in the presence of Melchizedek and Iofiel and Guriel.

Melchizedek and Abram go for a walk, and when it is night, Melchizedek asks Abram to look at the stars and see if he can count them. “So shall your descendants be,” says hy.

There are only about six thousand stars visible to the unaided human eye but Abram immediately gets the point. Chokhmah agrees to reward Abram with countless progeny and help them thrive in the land of Canaan. Abram agrees to worship only Chokhmah as God and trust that she would always do what she said she would do. That is the basis of the first covenant between the elohim and human beings, the first contract made between the divine and the mortal on something like an equal basis.

On Barbelo Thaumiel never concludes a similar covenant, for he considers the nephilim there to be nothing more than his servants. Slaves obey or they are punished, they didn’t make covenants with gods.

Abram is the head of a large nomadic clan and possesses great riches. He is already living in the golden age as far as he is concerned. Abram does not pine away for salvation or an afterlife. Abram has already lived a full and blessed life here. He accepts that he is mortal like everything else in the world, from mayflies to olive trees, and the only thing left that Chokhmah can promise him is that his name and his blood would be carried into a future without limit by a people who would live in the land he has ventured to reach.

Prince Melchizedek journeys once more to Harran, the land of Abram’s own people. By chance hy ends up at the very house of Abram’s original clan and sees there Bethuel, son of Milcah the wife of Nahor, who is Abram’s older brother. And Bethuel has a daughter named Rebekkah. That means Rebekkah is Abraham’s great niece. She is therefore Isaac’s first cousin once-removed.

Melchizedek tells her father of hyz mission, and showers the family with many lavish gifts from the now greatly-enlarged estate of Abram. Then Bethuel calls Rebekkah in, allows her to speak with Melchizedek for a time, and at the end he asks, “Will you go with this man to marry his master?”

And she says, “I will go.”

By this acceptance, Rebekkah takes her place in the great story set in motion when Chokhmah, through Melchizedek, first commanded Abraham to go to the land of Canaan. Yet Rebekkah does not make her decision on the basis of Isaac’s character, which remains unknown to her, but on the basis of how Melchizedek represents hymself to her and her family: courteous, humble, and devout.

The gold and jewels are obligatory, but Rebekkah decides to go on a hunch. This servant Melchizedek (for a servant she thought hym to be, rather than a prince in his own right) was a good man. And the master of that man must be a good man as well, she reasoned.

Melchizedek brings Rebekkah to the oasis at Beersheba. Isaac brings her into his tent, takes her as his wife, and he loves her. Melchizedek, in a sense, has provided Isaac with a replacement mother to love. Rebekkah herself senses this and feels a twinge of regret, but she has already assented to the marriage. She is committed. And later she gives birth to twin boys, Esau and Jacob.

Then Melchizedek knows hyz service on Earth is complete, and hyz obligations to Chokhmah are fulfilled. Hy returns to Barbelo soon after this, for hy has learned that hyz aged father Melchiyahu has taken sick, and hy would not remain king of Salem for very much longer.

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Synthony – Track 22: Forget

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Chapter 21

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These are the words Haziel speaks to the people of Salem and their king as the orange sun sinks below the horizon. In after-years this sermon becomes known as the Sunset Discourse:

“Chokhmah is a lamp whose light is these words. The darker your thoughts, the further from Chokhmah you go. Sha who is far from Chokhmah is no better off than hy who denies Chokhmah.

“Celebrities are known by many nephilim and are called famous, but sha who embraces Chokhmah sets an example by har deeds and is called influential.

“Yeng are said to be superior to the animals because they can control their own environment, but sha who embraces Chokhmah can control har own behavior.

“The wealthy accumulate many riches but cannot keep all of them safe. Sha who embraces Chokhmah has few desires, and so holds on to all that sha has.

“Thieves take from those who do not have enough to supplement their own bounty, but sha who embraces Chokhmah diminishes the overflowing to enrich the impoverished.

“The moralist sits back in judgment of the causes of a tragedy, but sha who embraces Chokhmah is too busy mercifully addressing the needs at hand to render judgment.

“The judge demands to see evidence of good in others, but sha who embraces Chokhmah does good in this moment, and does not live for yesterday or for tomorrow.

“A strong yang can do hy wills to do, but hy cannot determine what hy wills. Sha who embraces Chokhmah makes har own awareness of injustice the determinant of har actions.

“The boastful put their riches and knowledge on parade, but sha who embraces Chokhmah does not tell all that sha has, nor all that sha can do.

“The proud would rather break than bend in pliable humility and admit error, but sha who embraces Chokhmah considers those who point out har faults as her greatest teachers.

“Traditionalists would teach an old thing before cultivating a new thing, but sha who embraces Chokhmah finds that creativity is the coin to buy har way.

“Leaders examine who speaks rather than listen to what is said, but sha who embraces Chokhmah knows that half of a conversation is listening.

“Warriors retaliate for suffering an indignity by committing yet another indignity, but sha who embraces Chokhmah knows the greatest revenge is not to be like hym who did the injury. The greatest conqueror is sha who has conquered harself.”

Haziel finishes delivering the Sunset Discourse and heals many of the people who came to hear har speak. After that King Melchiyahu bids Haziel to visit the throne room for a semi-private talk. After sha enters the castle and draws near to hyz seat, the King asks, “Lady Haziel, when you repeatedly say, ‘sha who embraces Chokhmah’ do you mean to say that no yang can become your disciple?”

“Not at all, Your Majesty. When I speak in those terms, I wish to convey an image. As a rule, yin are much gentler than yeng. A yang that admires Chokhmah will have a gentle heart, like a yin, because hy sees others around hym as another ‘I’ yet hy will retain his strength and hyz male nephilim nature, as hy rightly should.”

“Thank you for explaining that, Lady Haziel,” the aged King says. “For it seems to me that for many years my own daughter had a fierce heart, yet in recent days sha has come to admire your teachings, and it has gentled har. This gladdens me.”

“The King is aware that one in six nephilim are born with a preference to use the left hand,” Haziel says, and at first both the King and the Princess are puzzled by this apparent non sequitur. But Haziel continues. “This is not a matter of choice, there is an element of chance that is a part of every birth, otherwise all of our sons would look exactly alike, and of our daughters would also be identical. Allow me to demonstrate.”

And Haziel thrusts first har left hand into a nearby jar of assorted dried fruits, then har right hand. Sha opens both hands to show the King. “If you count the number of fruits I have in each hand, and their kinds, you will see they are not exactly the same sets. This is similar to what happens with every birth as well. And yet, because left-handers are a minority, our culture traditionally ascribes their preference to evil. We speak of the ‘left hand of the damned’ and there are many charlatans who profess to change this preference to the so-called ‘normal’ one.”

Haziel returns the delicacies to the jar, but retains one to eat.

Then Khondiel and her father realize exactly what Haziel is speaking about. Haziel has been oblique, to avoid offending them in front of the courtiers. The King takes har cue and says, “There are other desires that must have the same random cause as left and right hand orientation. There can be no moral culpability for any of these inclinations. We should love these nephilim without condition!”

Khondiel beams. “Thank you, my father and King.”

“Princess Khondiel,” Haziel says, “you are who you are. Good for you! Lucky you! Never try to undo that and live a lie because someone says your ancestors would not approve.”

Prince Melchizedek, the son of the King and newly returned from Earth says, “Lady Haziel, never have I known a yin with such wisdom and grace. Who are you? How did you come to know such things?

“Who am I?” Haziel draws near to hym. “Prince Melchizedek, years ago you were commanded by your father the King to travel to the other world and find a human candidate for a student of Chokhmah according to precise specifications that came from Thaumiel himself, but ultimately from Chokhmah.”

The Prince is astounded. “What? How do you know this?”

Melchiyahu says to Haziel, “My son found a man on Earth by the name of Abram, but he refused to accept the offer. Abram’s loyalty to his own father’s well-being exceeded any loyalty to what was, to him, an unknown god. My son found no other matches, and he has only recently returned.”

Haziel causes a large bubble to appear in the throne room, touching the floor but taller than any yang. Through it, from every angle, the members of the King’s audience can see Harran on distant Earth. Gasps of shock and surprise are heard. Even the heat of the desert seeps from the bubble to filter into the King’s chamber.

Haziel says, “Prince Melchizedek, know that Terah, the father of Abram, is dead. Return to Earth at once and fulfill the task as your father once commanded you.”

Melchizedek looks from Haziel to hyz father and has naught to say.

Haziel says to the Prince, “Make haste, and think not to take anything that you think you will need, for I myself will provide them for you.”

King Melchiyahu says, “Proceed as Lady Haziel commands, son, only accept Guriel and Iofiel here as your new subordinates, for Zophiel and Kemuel have reached early yenghood, and I have released them from their service to you.”

The name Iofiel means Beauty of God, and Guriel means Whelp of God. Together with Melchizedek they enter the bubble, and as soon as they do, the bubble is gone.

The question of Haziel’s identity has been answered in a spectacular fashion. The king hymself approaches har and bows to har on one knee. Haziel bids hym to rise, saying, “Yes, I am the holy one you call Chokhmah, but for my part I call you my Students, not my Servants. I am quite different from Thaumiel in this respect.”

Hearing this, the King rises and says, “My daughter has expressed to me her strong desire to become your leading student, Lady Haziel, or Chokhmah if you wish.”

“Call me Haziel, please, Your Majesty. I have not yet formally gathered disciples to myself, and if I did, it would be a far greater commitment than a few hours a day away from this castle. Sha might be asked to travel to the other lands of Barbelo, or perhaps even to the other world where har brother has just now returned in the sight of everyone here. Would you, Princess Khondiel, be willing to part with your father for years, decades, perhaps even for half a lifetime? Consider hyz age. It might be the case that you would part from hym and never be reunited.”

“I am willing to do so, Lady Haziel, and more, I would put my Fallen Angels entirely at your disposal.”

The King says, “Take Princess Khondiel to learn at your side, Lady Haziel. I beg this of you, for I deem that you will return to me a daughter who is more fit to be called a Princess of this city.”

“In that event, Your Majesty, I will take Khondiel to be my first disciple.” Sha bows deeply, a goddess paying homage to a king, and the audience is concluded.

King Melchiyahu arranges for Haziel to spend the night in the castle. The next morning Haziel summons har avatar once more to the city of Salem, and sha takes Khondiel in a suborbital flight to har abode in distant Anshar, but ever the two remain chaste, and sleep separately one from the other.

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It’s Like A Spider-Man Reboot

IT’S LIKE A SPIDER-MAN REBOOT

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For thousands of years learned Jewish scribes and rabbis faithfully copied and studied their scripture, and never once gleaned a hint of the pre-incarnate Jesus in its pages. Then Christianity came around, putting forth a New Testament in which the authors retrojected the Son of God concept into many Old Testament passages, to the everlasting horror and disgust of the Jews.

But this wasn’t the last time it happened. Mohammad came along about six hundred years later with his Qu’ran as the New New Testament, making the New Testament of Christianity positively middle-aged.  Mohammad claimed that the underlining theme of the entire Bible is submission to God and recognition that he was God’s final prophet, to the everlasting horror and disgust of both Jews and Christians.

And Joseph Smith Jr., a vagrant treasure hunter from upstate New York, came along even later to do the same thing, putting forth the Book of Mormon as the New New New Testament and claiming that he was God’s final, final prophet and the underlying theme of the entire Bible is “as man now is, God once was; as God now is, man may become” to the everlasting horror and disgust of Jews, Christians, and Muslims.  And round and round she goes…

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Chapter 20

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Prophet Mark Lange’s very kind offer of a seat on the last remaining lifeboat on the doomed Reina Regenta is totally wasted on Rupert Keller. Returning to New York he proceeds to give a newspaper account of the disaster which includes the Prophet kicking little girls off a lifeboat to make room for his gold bullion, resulting in the sinking of the lifeboat, the death of Lange, and the death of everyone else with him. Indeed, Keller says the presence of the gold must have been the reason the ship was torpedoed by the Central Powers in the first place, lest it aid the cause of the Triple Entente in the Great War, which is now in its third year.

Keller’s widely published lies do their intended damage to the popular imagination of the American people. Many former supporters sour on the religion, and the growth of the Green Dome Church slows to a crawl. Shortly after that, by popular referendum, the state joins a dozen others in banning marriages between first cousins and the first serious persecutions of Greendomites begin.

Upon the death of Mark Lange the Apostle Peter Twofeathers automatically becomes the second Prophet of the Church. Peter in turn appoints a new Apostle from among the elders of the White Wing of the End Dome Church, a man named Klaus Hansen. Thus the lifetime office of Prophet alternates smoothly between the White and Red wings of the Church, and assuming this rule is never broken there can never be a succession crisis.

The sinking of Reina Regenta with the End Dome Church’s first prophet Mark Lange aboard, along with seven hundred other men who could not take to lifeboats, is one of the biggest factors that changes American public opinion about the Great War from an attitude of cynical isolationism to moralistic idealism. Another big factor is an intercepted telegram from Germany offering Mexico a share of the spoils if they come into the war against America. A month later Congress approves a declaration of war against the Central Powers, and a month after that forced conscription begins.

Despite Church of Green Dome roots in the pacifist German Brethren, and the slight bias in favor of the Central Powers by many Americans of German descent, very few Greendomites avail themselves of Conscientious Objector status after receiving their draft notification. Erik Zinter accepts the call to go “Over There” along with nearly five million other Americans. After a brief period of the most rudimentary military training that seems to consist mostly of standing for uniform inspections, Erik finds himself stuffed aboard on a troop ship on the way to Bayonne, France.

From the point of view of the Triple Entente, America is late getting into position for the First World War. General “Black Jack” Pershing trains the American Expeditionary Forces to operate independently of the allies. The US Marines make the first demonstration of American resolve at Belleau Wood, a single square mile stand of trees that still takes from the 6th of June until the 26th of June, 1918, before Major Maurice Shearer sends the signal, “Woods now entirely US Marine Corps.” Belleau Wood is six hundred acres of hell for three weeks.

The war drags on into its final two months before Erik Zinter even enters his first combat as part of the Battle of Saint-Mihiel. It is the third and easiest operation to straighten out the remaining German salients in the Western Front before the main Allied thrust to break the Hindenburg Line can begin.

The Americans are tasked to attack the German left flank against static positions they have held for more than three years while France, Britain and Belgium bled themselves white. But now the allies are getting a fresh shot in the arm from merry but homesick doughboys who go into battle singing and whooping with all the enthusiasm of a football team pouring out onto the field just before kickoff. The Germans know the Americans are coming and they began to pull out, but the Americans attack before the Germans estimate they would with 600 aircraft and 144 tanks commanded by Colonel George S. Patton Jr. The battle of St-Mihiel is Patton’s first battle as well.

Casualties are very light as battles go in the Earth’s First World War, but the weather is miserable. Nearly three thousand pieces of field artillery unleashed by the Allied side as well as bombs dropped from the air tears the battlefield into a pock-marked pig sty filled with mud.

The Germans might have been withdrawing, but they are quite capable of fighting a rear-guard action with a deadly bite. Erik takes two rounds from a German Bergmann Maschinenpistole 18/1 that shatters the bone in his upper left arm and he is sent by truck to a War Department field hospital in the rear just beyond German counter-battery fire.

Due to the development of gas gangrene, which is part and parcel of the mud and generally unsanitary conditions on the front, army doctors decide to amputate Erik’s arm, leaving only a two inch stump, which unfortunately would be a little too short to be usefully fitted with a prosthetic arm. Since the amputation is performed in non-ideal circumstances, Erik is sent by a hospital train to Paris for follow-up care.

There he meets Clara Brannen, a Red Cross nurse. After Erik sees her name tag they talk for a bit and Erik learns that Clara is from the branch of Brannens who had stayed behind in Pennsylvania when Mark Lange led the pilgrimage west, so she knows very little about the Green Dome Church. They talk for a bit more and both discover they share the same great-grandmother. They are second cousins. That and her all-American girl-next-door good looks interest Erik.

What interests Clara is Erik’s attitude in the face of his life-changing injury. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself even after losing an arm. There is pain, but right on through it he keeps a wicked sense of humor. They cannot talk for long, but Clara passes along to him the address of her parents in Pennsylvania, because he says he wants to be pen pals after they both get back home.

Their pen pal relationship gradually blossoms into love, and in 1922 Erik drives nearly all the way across the country in his 1916 Model T. He uses the Yellowstone Auto Trail and it takes nearly a month to get to Erie, Pennsylvania, averaging five dollars a day, not counting the cost of two major automobile repairs along the way. This money comes out of his twenty-five dollar per month Veteran’s pension, which has been supplemented by a job as a painter in Greendome. He could do his job with one arm, although with some difficulty.

After arriving in Erie he sells his Tin Lizzie to defray the wedding expenses. Although Pennsylvania is the original anti-cousin marriage state, it only prohibits marriage between first cousins, not second cousins. Still, it takes some doing by Erik and Clara to get her parents to sign off on it. In the end, they obtain the blessing of both parents, and soon the newlyweds are traveling west across the country by train to start their new life in Greendome.

When it comes to Erik’s parents, however, they are a much harder sell, and he becomes more or less the black sheep of the family because he passed over a perfectly good (if plain) first cousin who shared the same grandparents, and chose to fall in love with Clara who only shared the same great-grandparents with him, never mind that she was stunningly beautiful. Apparently love is very fickle. This thing with second cousins is now permitted by Green Dome Church doctrine under the “liberal” Prophet Peter Twofeathers, but some say it isn’t a brave choice, because any heathen could do as much.

The ones who say that are the Bunners, a subset of the White Wing who are not happy to have a Red Wing Prophet. They are called Bunners because both men and women roll their obligatory pony tail up into a bun, a little White power fist made of hair. The Apostle Klaus Hansen is Bunner Incarnate. His particular hobby horse is that the possession of the Golden Gift should transfer as well, to the White Apostle. Twofeathers insists the relic remains under the control of the Red Wing.

Kimberly Zinter is born to Erik and Clara in 1925. She would be their only child. Kim knows her two best friends Sofie Krause and Dory Fuchs from as early she can remember, perhaps as far back as the summer of 1928 when they share their days at the same nursery while their mothers also found work. This is nearly the peak of the Roaring Twenties, when unemployment dips below five percent. Then comes the stock market crash in 1929.

By 1930 the Great Depression is just getting started. Their mothers are soon booted from their jobs, followed by Kim’s father, as employers suddenly found many other men willing to paint who had two good arms. Still, Erik does not despair, but retains the good spirits that had caused Clara to fall in love with him at first sight in France. And it soon turns out that Erik’s optimism is justified.

Twofeathers has compassion upon Erik Zinter and gives him employment which involves a deep and sacred trust. With his single arm, he is to wield the Golden Gift to carve a network of tunnels under the Green Dome hill and the surrounding area. For there are rich seams of coal under the townsite but the geology of the area is so jumbled there has not been an economical way to reach it by drilling a straight shaft. The coal would only be exposed here and there. But with the Golden Gift, Erik Lokken easily creates twisting passageways through this rock, and others follow in his wake to reinforce the tunnels with timber and remove the coal.

While the rest of the country wallows in unemployment that reaches twenty-five percent, the area around Greendome experiences a boom that hasn’t been seen since the brief gold rush days after the Civil War, when the town swelled with the ranks of ’69ers. The population sells to three thousand souls. Great heaps of black gold from the mines pile up on docks as far away as Chicago.

Financially, Erik Zinter does far better than he ever did as a one-armed painter in the Twenties. Soon enough he has a nice new brick red Ford Model 48, his first car since selling his Model T, and he also pays off his modest home. Thinking ahead, Erik sets some money aside in a rainy day fund. There is enough left over even after all this to send Kim to the Green Dome parochial school rather than the free public school, partially so she could be with her friends Sofie and Dory, but especially because it was an excellent school that gets students engaged in learning experiences outside of the classroom as well as within.

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Top Ten Sexually Suggestive Lines In Xena: Warrior Princess

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10. THE GREATER GOOD

Gabrielle: “I have to practice.”
Xena: “Not on my horse.”

9. IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
Xena: “That’s a nasty gash.”

8. DEATH IN CHAINS
Xena: “Run me through and I’m yours.”

7. CHARIOTS OF WAR
Xena: “Pull out the shaft.”

6. A DAY IN THE LIFE
Xena: “It’s gonna smell like fish for days.

5. A COMEDY OF EROS
Gabrielle: “Look! Cherries! I love cherries.”
Draco: “Me too.”
Gabrielle: “Did I mention I’m a widow?”

4. FINS, FEMMES, & GEMS
Xena: “C’mon Gabrielle, lets get wet.

3. THE DEBT 1
Xena: “That’s my piece of meat you’re reaching for.
Lao Ma: “You’re wrong. I don’t eat meat.

2. FINS, FEMMES, & GEMS
Gabrielle: “Well, listen to my story of Gabrielle. Cute little gal that’s
looking really swell. Perfect hair, such a lovely lass. Nice round breasts and
a firm young…
Xena: “Are you out of your mind?”

1. KING CON
Xena: “Either you start filling in some holes, or I start making them.”

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